Bossy 2 1/2 year old

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Bossy 2 1/2 year old

Postby mommy2boys » Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:33 am

Hello,

I am looking for some advice on how to deal with our son, who is 2 1/2 and beginning to get too bossy with my husband and me. Generally, he is very well behaved and obedient, but lately (mainly with my husband) he is throwing tantrums left and right whenever he doesn't get his way. We both know that this stems from the long hours of work (my husband is in the army) and jealousy issues with our other son who is 10 months old. Our 2 year old will get whiny and shrill with my husband, and demand that he "play this" and "carry me" and "no baby" (referring to his brother). I don't get this as much, and when I do it's mainly about something he doesn't want his brother involved in. For example, while we are eating lunch he will say "no baby eat" meaning he doesn't want his brother at the table with him. Or he will say "no baby play" meaning he doesn't want his brother to play with us. I usually just ignore him and continue doing what we are doing, and he will just stop saying it after a while. But with my husband, he will throw a tantrum in this same situation. We are struggling to come up with the right actions to take or words to say, because neither of us want to encourage feelings of jealousy or sibling rivalry between our sons. Any advice from moms and dads out there??

Thanks!
-Suzanne
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Re: Bossy 2 1/2 year old

Postby witsend » Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:24 am

This is real general and not really L&L based...

Foster a helping relationship between the siblings... Kids LOVE to help mommy/daddy, so if you phrase things around this, it helps. If your son wants to do something without the baby, you can give him choices (L&L) to wait till the baby is down for a nap, or help mommy take care of the baby while we play.

If you have to do housework when the baby naps, get your older son to help with housework. This takes patience on your part, b/c at 2.5 they are more nuisance than help LOL but you are trying to teach them responsibility at this point, not get housework done. So let him help carry a laundry basket, put a dish in the dishwasher, whatever. And you only have to let them help a little, they don't get the scope of it, they just know they are helping. This lets him do something with mommy that only big boys get to do (no baby!) Appeal to the fact that while baby might get more attention, big boys get to do more things :)

When you offer more choices, make sure you phrase it that way too... so all day he will hear "you have a choice, this or that" so THEN when it's time for no choice, you can say "Mommy gave you choices all day, but this time it is not a choice, ..."

Good luck. It's a process!
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Re: Bossy 2 1/2 year old

Postby anyuta » Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:20 am

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